I will marry Yukihiro.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Chiba in our fabulous House.
		We will have 007 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Purple Chevrolet Picasso.
		I will spend my days as a Librarian, and live happily ever after.

And, btw~ ♥.
Happy b-day to Yukki (24th) and Ken (today)~ ♥.
I would love to make some nice graphic, but my low blood pressure is killing my braincells.

TOUSEN, YOU FOOL!

Dah, I can't believe it~.
Why, why, why, why!?!? Twenty fucking times WHY.

*totally out of herself*

Because our Princess is the most lovely and talented musician on Earth...



Thank you very, very much for all the inspiration, love, lyrics, music, tears, art. Everything you gave me through your art. But thanks a lot for Art of Life, specially.
I love you, Yoshiki!~ ♥ Happy birthday!
I can't believe he's 44. Lord.

I confess that today... I've received one of the most sincere hugs of my life.
I was leaving college when I crossed the street. I went to an artistic shop just to ask about a paper I need for the presentation of my final exams. Thing is that while the employer was serving another woman that was before me, I saw through the window three little children playing. They where just talking, sitting aside of the shop. They looked terribly poor.
The employer told me the price of the paper and I went out. I passed in front of the kids and one of them asked me: "do you have a coin?". I looked at him... and God. Those shinny and sad eyes. I looked for some coins on my pockets, but I only had 20 cents. I gave them to the kids and just kept on walking.
But I was in the middle of the block when I told to myself: "those kids need a hug, not money. They need love". Specially because their parents steal that money just to buy wine for themselves. And not food for their kids.
I went to a kiosk and bought them a pack of cookies. "Here you have, young pigeons", I said. I remember that the older of them all smiled at me, and took the pack. "Hey, but you have to give me a hug first!", I told him.
Believe me; it was the most comforting hug I've received in a long, long time. He kissed me, same with the other too kids. They smiled again to me. And something was in their eyes. "Thanks a lot, lady", the older said. "You're welcome, sweetie. Take care, and don't fight. Share the pack with them too".
I'm not telling you this just to say "Today I've done my good action of the day". No. I'm sharing this with you because I'm fucking impressed. I'm glad to know that I wasn't wrong: poor kids need food, of course. But what they really want is love and care from adult people. Just that.
They are kids after all.

This is the fourth night that I sleep like my ass.
I've been having nightmares, fear, and I'm getting really paranoid. I'm acting like a little child, I know. But I can't help it.

Last night I woke up at 2 am, all soaked in sweat. I dreamed with my grandfather again.
I need a new brain. Seriously. I'm fucking rotten.
All I want is to sleep in peace.
I think I'll try with lime tea again.

♥ a letter meme · comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list ten things you LOVE that begin with that letter. Afterwards, post this in your journal and give out letters of your own.

Guridin rurah tagged me with F.

1 · fuckantastic : she is and always will be my favorite. She's my younger sister, and the person that I love the most in the world.
2 · Friends: I don't have so many friends, but the ones I have are the most beautiful people I could ever met. I'm being seriously. All of them have a very strong personality, and that's something I admire a lot.
3 · "Fantastic" word: I totally love that word, and I use it very much, indeed.
4 · Food: my worst enemy, but... holy Gackt, I love it.
5 · Finnish metal: there are a lot of Finnish metal bands that I adore. Like Nightwish, Sonata Arctica, Apocalyptica, COBHC, For My Pain...
6 · Forever Love: the most beautiful ballad of X JAPAN, along with Tears. I love this song. It touches me very deeply everytime I listen to it. And if you like it, I recommend to listen to the acoustic live version from the second day at Hong Kong during the Wold Tour! it's... ah, I have no words~.
7 · Fanfictions: they are one of my main addictions. But, curiously, I don't like to read them randomly. I'm used to read them by author (I'm very exclusive, oh, yes).
8 · Fandom: my drug ♥.
9 · Fox: I like this animal a lot. And it's a way I have to call Heath sometimes too. Like "little fox", "dirty fox", "skinny foxie", etc.
10 · (the) Fool: my favorite Tarot card.

If you wanna do it, just tell me and I'll give you a letter, cookies! ♥

Last night it was the third time I dreamed with Axel in less than a week.

I don't know why, but I can't stop dreaming about him. I think that... I miss him very much.
I can still remember the second dream. He was looking really old, exhausted. My poor boy.

Everytime I remember him, I ask to myself if he's ok. If he's hungry, if he's cold. If he's still alive.
I feel really helpless thinking that he's somewhere, needing my help.

Stolen from greeding_ruler-cookie ♥.

So... after all, Budism is right, cookies.

Suffering ends when craving ends, when one is freed from desire.

I seriously need to finish with my desire.

I'm tired, and I'm refusing to start doing all the things I've to do. So I've been stalking JOE's blog (very productive, I know).
But please, take a look to these pictures. I've almost die laughing. Poor thingie.





These is what I usually call "empanada feet" ♥.

HEY! I wanna read your imagination through this meme! Please, do it~! ♥.

the SUPER POWER meme !

Feliz día de la Raza.
Sos libre de sentirte discriminado.

First of all, and because he deserves it~


Thank you very, very much for all of your music~ ♥. You really relax me and make me feel better. Specially when I'm stressed or angry. Thanks, thanks! you're 44 and you look even younger than me, Jesus!
And thanks a lot for cheer up greeding_ruler cookie too! ♥.

In the other hand... yesterday was a very positive day for me. My professor of Visual Language from Fridays told me that my work of architectonic perspective was perfect~, without any errors! ♥ I couldn't believe it. I was near to cry. I mean it.
After that, I looked for my professor of Painting. I was told that on Friday she was teaching at three, with another class. I show her all my works and, with a smile in her face (this is the unbelievable part), she told me: "girl, I'll be presenting marks of the quarter at headship the second week of November, but your mark is ready". She took her notebook, asked for my name and... she wrote a freaking 10! I couldn't believe it!
Now I remember that swore to myself, three months ago, that I was going to do my best to get a 10. And here it is. Now I need to paint the final exam for December, that is, indeed, a canvas board of 1.18mtsx84cm. Don't ask me how I'm going to paint that with acrylics, but I'll do my best again! It's a promise!

Sorry, beautiful cookies, but everything is going to hell around here.
I have to prepare 9 final exams at the same time, and I'm starting to realize that I don't have time to answer to all your comments and entries. Anyways, I'll try to read you just to know how are you, because I'll miss you a lot.
Final exams are on December. After those horrible days of hot weather, stress and shit, I'll be back. I promise.

For now on, I'll try to comment and read everything. But I'm not sure at all, and I apologize in advance.
Thanks a lot for all the nice vibes you always send to me, kindness, comments, mails and love.

Please, take care of yourselves! ♥
I promise I'll do my best!
Love,

Moony.

Since he said he was going to answer the questions, I've commented on his blog and took the chance to ask him something that I really wanted to know. Something I always think about.

Q9: Have you ever been afraid of making a living from being an artist?
　　（アーティストとして生活していけるか不安になったりしたことはありますか？）＜Aldanaさんより＞

A9: Yes, many times ! I'm afraid even now. But I'm so happy that I can create something by music.It's my joy. Joy will bring me a lot of property.It's like fans who read this blog for example.
　　(幾度となくあるよ～ん！今でも不安です、ハイ（笑）。でも音楽で何かを生み出すことができるとき、すごい楽しいし、その喜びがまた何かステキな財産を運んできてくれるんだろうなぁ～って思ってやってマス、、それは例えば、このブログを読んでくれてるFANの子たちのように、ね。えっへっへ～。。。あ～、これで、また君たちのハートを鷲掴みじゃの～わっはっは～。）

He's really brave, isn't he? I mean... it's JAPAN. Everything is really expensive, and to be an artist is not so easy as it seams to be. And curiously, his answer reassures me. Even if he feels afraid, he keeps on doing that thing that makes him feel so happy. Always sharing the joy of it.
I'll take that.
So, keep on rocking, DIE! ♥ like MIHO always says: LET'S DO IT, IKUZEEEE!!!

Truth is that I'm such a coward.

I'm childish.

I don't want to grow up.

I'm afraid of life.

I'm the most ungrateful person in the whole world.

I'm scared.

I'm really confused.

I can't face my real situation.

I can't accept myself.

I hate myself. And it's not a joke. And I'm not exaggerating.

I don't know what to do.

And this is not about him, it's about me, and my future. Because I'm 19 years old and I act like if I were 15.

I'm blind.

I see only what I want to see.

I can't do anything for me. It's always for someone else.

And I don't want to suffer. I don't want to feel more pain.

Comments are not allow. Just because there's nothing left to say. I'm not being dramatic. Truth is that there's nothing left to say. I need to face my reality.
And thanks a lot. To all of you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not cute. I'm such a bitch that prefers to study like a whore the whole week just to avoid the truth. That's why there's nothing to say.

It's... BEAUTIFUL. Fantastic weather: it isn't cold, there's no heat, more or less windy, sunny~ ♥. I want an icecream now.
Anyways, here I am, with a new meme.

Picture Meme
Stolen from fright_ranger cookie~ ♥.
Post a picture in my comments of what you think describes me when you think about what/who I am. Give no written explanation. Just an image.

Come on, bitches, I want to see those images. No excuses (?).
Random comment: Pata's solo project rocks. ♥. So fucking hard.